On my side / 俺の味方

Last year, my eldest son went through many goodbyes.

To teachers he loved.
To places that had slowly, carefully become his safe spaces.
For a child who does not attend regular school, those places were not just locations—they were lifelines.

“I feel like my place in the world is disappearing,”
he said quietly.

I wanted him to remember something important, so I said,
“Some places may be gone, but I think you still have so many people on your side.”

“Oh… that’s true,” he said—and began to count.

Everyone at Matsubaso.
Everyone where we join as a member of a community play park.
The people from the farm.
The teachers at his therapy center.
The teachers and friends from his after-school program.
And our relatives.

He slowly named each and every one, taking his time, and then said with a smile,
“I have so many people supporting me.”

Watching him nod happily, I realized how many connections and kindnesses have carried us this far.
My heart felt full with gratitude.

昨年、長男は沢山の別れを経験した。
大好きな先生たち、療育先、放課後デイ、習い事。
不登校の彼がようやく見つけた居場所が、いくつか減ってしまった。

「俺の居場所がなくなっていく…」
と悲しそうな長男に思い出して欲しくて、
「場所は無くなっちゃったけど、私は、君には仲間がたくさんいると思うよ」
と言ったら、そうか！と長男が数え出した。

松葉荘のあやさんも、あだっちゃんも、他のお母さん大学生やその子どもたちも、
プレイパーク仲間の大人や子どもたちも、
農業体験先の大人や子どもたちも、
療育先の先生たちも、
放課後デイの先生やお友達も、
沢山いる親戚たちも、

時間をかけて一人一人、名前を挙げて、
「俺にはこんなに味方がいたわ！」
と、嬉しそうに頷いた。

沢山の人とご縁に恵まれて、ここまでやってこれたんだなあ。なんだか胸がいっぱいになった。